Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think I sprained my soul last night
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I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
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i think my cat just said my name.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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