you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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