my vag is so smooth its legendary
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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