Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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