your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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