OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
