IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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