i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
