It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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