He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
