i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
