We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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