Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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