it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
