I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
