its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Farmville is her only friend.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
