i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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