Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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