Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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