So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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