she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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