We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
