bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
