The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
