Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
