dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
