The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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