people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
