Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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