why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
