I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
