I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
