Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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