party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize