What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
