There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
