I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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