Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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