...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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