Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
