And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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