I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She bit a glass in half.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
