im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
