Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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