she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
