Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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