Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
