I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
