No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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