Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
