Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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