Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
