try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
