and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
PANTIES FOUND
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