let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
