I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
