did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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