I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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