You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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